The May-to-December Maturity Change that Happens to Every Male Applicant
There’s a weird change that happens to nearly every male student I’ve worked with. Gradually but steadily it happens, between junior May to senior December. It used to surprise me, but now I’ve come to rely on it. And it happens like this:
“Dude your hair is flowing right now!” Travis started with me in February of his junior year. And it seemed like his hair was longer every time I saw him. It almost reflected his adolescence, his immaturity - he was unsure what colleges he really wanted to attend. His top choice was Cal Poly SLO, but I guessed that was mostly because his brother was there. Other than that, he was pretty unsure and hesitant.
But it began changing. He started taking on leadership roles in his activities. He honed in which types of colleges were right for him, not his brother. And just as we began writing college essays & really focusing on the application, Travis showed up with a fresh cut. The locks were gone, and his demeanor had subtly but surely shifted. He suddenly found his voice, writing essay drafts that were Head and Shoulders (pun) above his drafts from that summer. His finished applications were polished, insightful, and (dare I say it) mature. There was no doubt: Travis had become ready for college. He hadn’t just grown; he’d grown up.
What about you? Are you worried about your male student? Maybe worried they’re not taking college applications seriously? (They’re not.) Or, more importantly, that they don’t have what it takes to ever apply, apply themselves, and succeed in an independent college setting? I’ve seen the “Travis Effect” happen with most of my male students. Their academic and emotional maturity growth from junior Spring to senior Winter is marked and substantial. And they show up ready to make a wise college decision.
For Travis, he did get admitted to his top school of Cal Poly SLO. But he also got admitted to UC Santa Cruz, which became his new #1. And at the last minute, he was admitted off the waitlist to UC Santa Barbara which became his home. And he wasn’t alone: many of my other male students have done the same.
For Saxon, his focus was originally playing D3 soccer at Connecticut College. But somewhere between junior Spring and senior Winter he’d abandoned soccer and set his sights on CU Boulder, where he was admitted.
For John, it was the opposite. He came in focused on University of Indiana, Penn State, and University of Oregon. He was admitted to some of them, but experienced an exciting life change that shifted his focus to professional football (get this: he’d never played before that year but was already getting college offers).
What’s the point? Just this: your junior male has a lot more in him than meets the eye. He has an exciting future ahead. He likely just needs an experienced counselor to bring it out of him. You can share your concerns or worries in the Contact page. I bet we can work together to open up his options.
Peace,
Peter
